Yeah, like this week’s newsletter wasn’t going to be about Apple

Avoid being CUUUUURSED and Do Not Read Until Monday.

Yeah, like this week’s newsletter wasn’t going to be about Apple

… But maybe not quite the take one might expect. Apple had its annual industry-rattling announcement event this week, debuting its latest iThings. Through the years, the most attention has been lavished upon the iPhone. This year’s edition, the iPhone 11, comes in regular, large (Pro) and Big Gulp (Pro Max), with the latter two having enough cameras to trigger those with trypophobia, which we learned this week is indeed a thing. 

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I searched ‘trypophobia gifs’ so you don’t have to

New versions of the iPad and Watch will also be available soon, along with the corresponding iOS, MacOS and brand-new iPadOS updates.

Cool, but also, like – yawn. We’ve kind of known about much of this, and expect new devices annually now, so acclimated we are to Apple’s ever-blooming tree of planned obsolescence. 

But part of what Apple emphasized during devices discussions included its bonafides for sustainability. It has been pushing device recycling since time immemorial, but must know being ‘green’ means using the same device longer. And it needs to protect profits from customers increasingly more inclined to clutch tight legacy handsets.

Iphone GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
You can have my 4S when you pry it from my cold, dead hands

How?

Smash the subscribe button, that’s how. Apple announced launch titles and series for both Apple Arcade and Apple TV+, its gaming and streaming video platforms. Both services also got a price point – about five bucks a pop.

However, anyone who buys a new Apple device gets a year free subscription to the latter. While the perk could push those on the fence to replace their current handset, more so, these guaranteed millions of (non-hole-averse) consumers automatically vaults Apple to contender status in streaming video.

And, while the first taste is free, a $5 charge after may not seem too pricey, especially if bundled with Arcade, plus more utilitarian offerings from Apple like iCloud, the newly announced AppleCare subscription, and maybe whatever the hell they end up doing in healthcare.

ODDS + THE END

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