Do Not [Spoiler] Until [Spoiler]: A Twitter of Ice & Fire
Warning: This post contains spoilers and plot points from neither Avengers: Endgame or Game of Thrones, but why not just Do Not Read Until Monday?
A Week of Ice and Fire for Twitter
Hordes of the mindless undead, political intrigue, lingering threats of death, unlikely meetings of powerful leaders – just another week on Game Of Thrones Twitter. Two key items defined the hot-and-cold week for the social network: Q1 results and @Jack’s meeting with Donald Trump.
The former looked pretty good – monthly active users rose by nine million, and its year-over-year operating income rose over three-fold to $191 million. Twitter attributed its improved fortunes to working on platform health, including removing fake accounts and better policing toxic content.
Hilariously (or appropriately) enough, the very same day of the earnings report, Twitter executives met with one of the biggest drivers of toxic dialog on the platform – the U.S. Chief Executive. Trump has accused the platform of bias, and allegedly complained in the meeting about lost followers, but called the meeting “great”. But, since it was a closed-door meeting, who really knows.
But, while pleasing investors and temporarily assuaged a very vocal critic, the rest of the week revealed how much further Twitter has to go.
A new investigation revealed the bots were back in town for Mueller Time and it’s trying to get in front of voting misinformation. It also continually catches heat for suspending, not suspending, or suspending and then unsuspending users.
Hey, it can’t all be Patton Oswalt dunking on ratio’d Senators.
However, if you find yourself depressed after going through all the tweets about your favorite heroes perishing and realizing the remaining conversation on Twitter is a constantly-degenerating hellfeed, take solace that it, at the very least, does not reflect America.
For better or worse, that’s anyone’s guess.
Odds + The Endgame
- This week in streaming services we’ve never even heard of: Philo?
- Dammit: “Blink 182” is a wayyy more popular password than you think.
- Hey it worked for @TSA: The CIA has a “cute” Instagram now.
- Too bad that aesthetic is RIP.
- Facebook’s quarter beat expectations, despite planning for $3 billion in fines.
- It also hired someone who helped write the Patriot Act and is full of narcs.
- Hey, it banned personality quizzes though.
- Alexa’s latest trick? Live customer service.
- Snapchat also posted some good Q1 numbers, and will let developers insert your Bitmoji into video games.
- It’s also cracking down on rogue sponsored content, and hired its first CMO, presumably to lure new users and advertisers.
- Weekly Elon Musk Social Approval rating: 63.7%.
- Oh yeah, he also announced a lot of lofty ambitions for Tesla’s electric and self-driving cars too.
- Zombie Vine has entered beta testing.
- On the other hand, attention-span-killing-app-people-actually-want-to-use TikTok is now legal again in India.
- The latest Muppets video is brought to you by the letters “U” and “put down your gotdang phone”.
- The week’s attacks in Sri Lanka brought about a controversial social media ban.
- Nintendo may have a cheaper Switch available soon, and … a mobile Mario Kart game??!
- Chatroulette-esque features could be the future of online dating, meaning Bumble’s anti-unsolicited-nude feature could be big business. Or small too.
- Uber should be offering initial shares around 50 bucks and Lyft’s offering flat-rate rides out of food deserts.
- *Checks News* “Facebook Stories somehow hits 500 million daily users.” *Looks at Facebook*
- Disney to Hulu partners: Yeah, we’ll just take that off your hands.
- Who’s suing Fortnite now? Saxophonist Leo Pellegrino.
- *Uses Face ID to open phone* *Checks news* “Apple’s not scanning your face.” 🤔
- These trees are the new The Egg on Instagram.
Amazon Prime will now have ONE day shipping, proving time is a construct.
- It’s like a baby’s toy: iPads might work with a mouse soon.
- Final Spoiler: Russia’s answer to Facebook, VKontakte, pulled a stunt deleting half its users a la Infinity War. If only Facebook could so easily erase Russian misinformation campaigns from its own platform. Maybe by sliding through time via the Quantum Realm? Or perhaps recovering the Time Stone? Or wait wait wait, maybe Deadpool makes his entrance into the MCU using the timeline-fixing device he stole from Thanos. Or maybe…
- April 26, 2019